Positive Thinking takes conscious effort as you retrain your mind to minimize negativity. Trying to see good in everything and everyone can be a struggle some days so I want to highlight small moments of positivity that I see as I live day to day. These moments are featured as "Heart Smiles".



As I pulled into my parking space at Walmart another car pulled into the space right next to me. The driver was an old man and the passenger was an old woman with a breathing tube in her nose. I went into Walmart, bought my items, and returned to my car. Across from my car was a mother and her two children getting into their car, the mother's face was hard revealing that there must have been something bothering her. As I walked past I noticed the old woman with the breathing tube was still in the car and she was waving to get the attention of the mother. I brought the mother's attention to the old woman as I was approaching my car. She had all of our attention as she proclaimed to the mother "Your hair is beautiful!" The mother's hard face softened sweetly as she thanked the old woman for the compliment, got into her car, and pulled off. As I thought about how such as small gesture may have made the mother's day brighter, even if only for a moment, my heart smiled.

For many years I've wanted to write a book but I never knew what I wanted to say. I didn't think I had a story to tell that people would actually want to read. Over the past decade I've have grown into an adult and the past six years  have given me a story to share.

I've never wanted to do what others are doing but when you are surrounded by purpose-driven people you're bound to share some of the same ideas. Every direction I look lies authors and writers who have inspired me to put my thoughts and experiences on paper. So, I am proud to announce that I am officially authoring my first book available later this year! Read more for an exclusive look at the book cover and an excerpt from the book #newbeginnings #lifeinwait

Positive Thinking takes conscious effort as you retrain your mind to minimize negativity. Trying to see good in everything and everyone can be a struggle some days so I want to highlight small moments of positivity that I see as I live day to day. These moments are featured as "Heart Smiles".

Last week I had a minor fender bender on my way to church and it helped me see just how much my thinking has changed. I was rear-ended coming off the highway in traffic. I stopped behind the car in front of me but the car behind me did not stop. Luckily there was so much traffic that he wasn’t driving very fast and damage to both vehicles was minor. However, it was my reaction to the accident that made my heart smile.

I immediately called the police after pulling over and while I was on the phone the other driver came to check on me on the passenger side. He was a young man, clearly in his early 20’s, and after talking to me he stood between the cars looking distressed. After ending the call I got out of the car to talk to him, introduced myself and asked if he was okay. He said he was on his way to work which was just around the corner and he looked very sad. I tried to encourage him by commenting on how minor the damage was and that things could have been much worse. He agreed but remained distressed as he went back to his car and sat in the passenger seat shaking his head in his hands.

I was at ease, not because I wasn’t at fault but because I recognized that it really could have been much worse. Neither of us was injured in any way and a couple hundred dollars for some cosmetic repairs to our vehicles was all it would take to make things appear like this accident never happened. I was pleasantly surprised at how carefree I was about the situation and how calm and collected I felt when the officer arrived to complete the report. With all the negativity being shown in the media these days between African Americans and law enforcement my heart smiled because our encounter was cordial and pleasant and my positive outlook allowed me to continue my day without a hitch.

You may be asking yourself what all this positive thinking talk has to do with thinking legacy. After all, “Think Legacy” is the tagline on the Welcome page of the website, right? Absolutely. Also on the Welcome page is some questions that most of us would answer with a resounding “YES”. We all (at least most of us) want to make a positive impact on the world (or at least those we care about). But how do we do it? That’s where positive thinking comes in. You have to THINK something before it can actually happen. Consider this, do you eat something before thinking “I’m hungry” or “I want such and such”? Probably not. At the very least you see the item then your mind registers that you can eat it, still in the mind. Everything we do consciously and purposefully requires some type of thought process before we physically take action. Our thoughts dictate what our bodies will do unless something in our consciousness tells us not to do it or that we can’t do it.

So what does this have to do with legacy? It’s simple really. If the legacy you want to leave behind requires that you have great wealth you must believe in your mind that you can have it. If you don’t think you can have it then you won’t. If your desired legacy includes fame or great recognition you must first think it is possible for you to achieve it. If you can’t think it will happen it never will. Henry Ford put is best this way, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right”.

And so, building your legacy starts in your mind with training your mind to focus on the positive in everything, to getting the best of every situation whether good or bad, to being determined that you can be all that you desire to be; this is where the Journey to Legacy begins…

In my day job I train employees that work with some of the most challenging behaviors one can imagine. It’s a common daily occurrence for these employees to be cursed at, called names, spit on, and even hit or kicked yet they have to stay positive in their work. Retaliation is not an option. They have mastered the “let bygones be bygones” approach to experiences that would put the average person into a fit of rage. How do they do it? Perception. They understand that the people we serve are exhibiting these behaviors as a result of cognitive and psychological challenges; that the residents are indeed people too and they deserve to be treated with respect even when they are themselves not respectful. The employees understand that it comes along with the job and the choice to work in direct care at a mental health facility brings such risks. It’s a touch pill to swallow but everyday over 1000 people at my job chose to take it. I commend them.

In my training I spend some time teaching about the concept of Rational Detachment, our ability to stay calm and in control even in a moment of crisis. A lot of what I teach in this class is the same as what I blog about, in fact I often reference things that I have blogged about in the class and vice versa. One thing in particular I want to mention is QTIP (Quit Taking It Personally); this is obviously important for the staff I train and is equally important for everyday life, especially in today’s world.

One of my biggest pet peeves of American culture is our self-centered train of thought; the idea that everything and everyone should be tailored to our own group of people, our desires, and our needs. The American culture promotes the misconception that it is possible to find a solution that caters to everyone and that when such as solution is not possible the chosen result should be what is best for me even at the expense of others. Understanding this I apply the QTIP method when necessary to help control my actions. For example, racial disparities are always a hot topic and are particularly hot right now surrounding the #BlackLivesMatter movement. When I read or hear hateful comments and remarks I QTIP and remind myself that the opinion of one person, or even a group of people, does not represent an entire race. It takes a high level of maturity, compassion, and empathy to follow the QTIP method and I myself struggle to apply it to every offensive situation. However, having this approach in my repertoire of responses to negative experiences allows me to practice it and to use it more skillfully.

I challenge you to apply QTIP the next time you are offended to see how much your perception of the experience shifts towards the better.

Think your way out of offense.

I am a Christian and my faith is my lifeline. As I learn on my Journey to Legacy I am amazed to see that there are some Christians who find issue with the idea of positive thinking. Somehow there's are argument that thinking positively diminishes one's believing in or trusting God. I won't get into debate on this opinion but am using this opportunity to begin a new category of blog posts called "It's Debatable" in which I will present my thoughts on different issues that spark debate relevant to Journey to Legacy. For this topic, my thoughts are best expressed  in the following Bible verse which is one that I use often for encouragement:

Philippians 4:8 (KJV) 
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

This week has been all about making positive thinking a daily habit. I've found, for me, that building a habit takes preparation and this particular habit requires more than just practice. In the picture above you see a note similar to those that I surround myself with on a daily basis to remind me to have positive thoughts. Theses notes, along with Bible scriptures, are posted all around my office to serve as a reminder when I struggle to gain control of my thoughts. Try this method for yourself and let me know how it works for you.